thoughts at 2:45 am

do you ever look back at all the people you have met in your life and have a strong feeling that some of those chapters haven't ended yet, even though it has been years since you have spoken to them?

it's a heavy thought on my heart tonight.

getting rid of noise, pt 2

so to update you on my last challenge to myself, i failed. it is so hard for me to sit in my car in complete silence, especially when i had a holiday weekend and drove a lot!
i did make it sunday-thursday morning, which is pretty good, but still i didn't make it the whole week...

but i did learn things in this process. i truly believe God speaks to us through everything, i was brought to tears while driving one day because i felt His love. so i don't think that music drowns it all out, but there are sometimes i just need to sit in silence to really focus and have that conversation with Him.

i also realized that i still love music, it's easy for the love of it to fall away when you are surrounded by it and its your job. i had an awesome 'workout playlist' that i listened to on two of my walks this weekend and listened to a great 'worship playlist' that really helped me. uncool or not, music still moves me.

so there you have it, maybe i didn't fail afterall :)

i have no challenges for this week other than to make it through. it's going to be a hard one that doesn't really end (i leave for a business trip on saturday).

getting rid of noise

a couple weeks ago i wrote an entry 'speeding through life'.  to recap you on it, i challenged myself to go the speed limit ALL THE TIME.  

monday morning (after making this challenge) i was driving to work and was running super late and there is a section of my drive that the speed limit is 30 mph, but everyone normally goes like 40, but i went 30 that morning.  and you know who was waiting at that corner?  a cop with a radar gun!  he stopped my car and told me to proceed and pulled the car behind me over.  ANY other morning i would have been speeding, so i truly believe that God honors our random attempts to get closer to him.  

this brings me to this week's challenge.  in church the topic was prayer and being more of a listener than a talker when we spend time with God.  while trying to fit more quiet times into my schedule i thought, i spend a lot of time in my car, i need to drive in silence for the week.  so this week i will not play a cd or turn on the radio while running around nashville (which anyone who knows me will be very difficult).  but i do hope for some great conversation, especially listening with my amazing God this week :)  

change

it's hard for me to let go of things that i have held on to so tightly. with new things come new hope, but what if that hope doesn't sustain? that is my biggest fear in change, what if it is never that good again? granted, living in the past is never a good thing to do. but change is scary and i know God will catch me when i fall and carry me through the tough times, but i am still scared...

i was going through old blogs trying to find one specifically but didn't end up finding it. however, i did re-read this one he doesn't even need a label maker and it comforts my fear to know that i am not in control and there is a much better person in charge of organizing my life :)

speeding through life

today my pastor said something that i felt was directed at me as if it were a brick thrown at my head. he talked about being addicted to hurrying which i do, i am always in a rush, i can't sit down and relax, i NEVER take naps, it's how i've been since i was born :)

so my challenge to myself this week is simple yet difficult... drive the speed limit

we all do it, go 5-10 miles above, just enough to not really feel like we're breaking the law... but this week, i am going to try not to be in such a rush and to begin it will be with driving. i'll report how it goes in a few days.

psalm 39:4-5

Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.  remind me that my days are numbered--how fleeting my life is.  You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.  my entire lifetime is just a moment to You; at best, each of us is but a breath.

here it goes and this won't take long...

the starting line (1999-2008)

while at bamboozle last weekend i had the privilege to watch the starting line one last time at their final show as a band...

i believe i picked up the first full-length album (say it like you mean it) on a whim, i had heard "up and go" on a drive thru sampler years and years ago and decided that i will go ahead and buy the album. it was during the time where i was beginning to really get into music so that album specifically reminds me a ton of my time in college :) and it's just a fun listen, along with the rest of their catalog.

i loved the starting line and its sad to see them go, but it was great to see them close out their set with dozens of people on the stage all finishing out "best of me" - we got older, but we're still young, we never grew out of this feeling that we won't give up