traveling alone

"all of the ways that i have tried to understand,
have taken me further from the place that i have been,
and maybe the reason i have strayed so far from home,
is i have insisted on traveling alone" sherwood

i counted down the days pre-graduation, never would i have thought that i would count up the days post-graduation. you grow up imagining that when you graduate from college all of your problems will be solved and you will start your 'dream' career, make money, get married, have a family and live your life. well here i am 21 years old with a bachelor's degree and no future in sight. the past four weeks i have learned more than i thought i would. i have been humbled and tested. i have grown closer to god, whom i seemed to put on the back-burner while i planned my 'life.' now that the smoke is clearing things are coming to me as to what my purpose may be...
i dream of so many things every day, is it possible to achieve all these in a lifetime? good question. i am reading some books, watching some tv and doing something that i haven't done since i was born, relaxing. i have time to reflect and read the news paper and constantly soak in cnn! but i am a person who loves to be challenged and busy which is why i am here today... no job, no friends that live nearby... i am spending time with my family and taking some time to breathe. but most of all to really find who i am.
today i was pleasantly suprised (hence my web address for this blog) buy a cd of all things. i love music and it has had a huge influence on my life. but in the cd there was a quote by saint augustine it said, "let us sing now, not in order to enjoy a life of leisure, but in order to lighten your labors. you should sing as wayfairers do-sing, but continue your journey. do not be lazy, but sing to make your journey enjoyable. sing, but keep going." i feel like it's just a reminder that all hardships can lighten up and that if you focus on the positive it will make the journey that much more enjoyable. thanks goes to sherwood for putting that in their new cd, which i have been blown away by. definietly my pick for my suprise cd so far this year!
in the end, i know the past 4 weeks have been hard for me but i know there is a reason and i know that i will be lead to where i am supposed to be. all i know is that i will "keep going."