life is like a battlefield...

my college entrance essay was about the first time i ever went driving. i had taken the classes and was ready to pass to the next level which would ultimately give me my key to freedom, my license. i got my permit but to validate it i had to go on my first training course with my instructor. we began that saturday morning in a parking lot of puesta del sol elementary school. i drove around and around, excited and horrified all at the same time (never a good state of mind while driving...) and then something didn't click in my head and i confused the pedals (i was 15 and had never been behind the wheel before!)... needless to say, i freaked out and floored the gas pedal and meanwhile my instructor is pressing on her break pedal like her life depended on it and before i could kill us the car had stopped and i began to bawl... my instructor got out of the vehicle to observe the damage. the verdict, the front left wheel was completely blown and the rim dented and who knows what else i did. it was the worst! i NEVER wanted to drive again, EVER! and you know what she did??? she called the driving school and had them bring another car for me to drive. WHAT THE HECK? did i need to ruin another car? why send another victim? well i did drive that day, though i didn't want to and as you know now, i do drive. so my irrational quick decision to give up my "freedom" immediately because something went wrong was short-lived.
i make a lot of stupid irrational quick decisions like that of not ever wanting to drive again. and the past couple weeks i have been doing the same thing. on sunday at church i began to cry while our pastor was praying for us who felt discouraged. i have hit some low points recently and wanted to just give up on my dreams because i thought i had failed. you see, that's exactly what i thought when i wrecked that car back when i was 15, i thought i had failed my instructor as a potential driver... but she didn't think that or she wouldn't have had another car come. she believed that i could overcome that obstacle.
i think God works in the same way. we wreck a lot of cars everyday in our lives, but God always provides another one and even better, He believes that we can become better drivers...

today was a much better day, i woke up this morning and read over ephesians 6 (the armor of God) as someone had told me to do to remind myself of how i can fight the evils in my life. of course there were crazy people at work today (but none like in my last post, hehe). and there were times where i felt like i am on a dead end road but i am doing what i can to not look at it like that but more like climbing a hill and just not being able to see the other side yet...

looking back to that day i was in extreme turmoil... but what can seem bad may turn out good... that experience got me into college :)