a view from the ground...

on wednesday, i woke up a little excited as gma week was wrapping up and there was hope soon for some rest. though exhausted i left the apartment at about 6:30am to do some quick things in the office and then head out to downtown nashville for many meetings.

i make to nashville at about 7:45ish, enough time to find parking and make it into the hotel for meetings. i walk up to the machine, pay my money and head back towards the car to put the slip on my dashboard when all of a sudden, PAIN and then i hit the ground. my right foot went inward on the uneven gravel and i collapsed.
kneeling on the ground and frustrated i had almost no will to get up...

there was NOTHING inside me that wanted to give enough energy to pull myself back up and limp towards my car, nothing. i had hit the bottom (more than literally), the build up of frustration, sadness and anger in my life culminated in that parking lot in downtown nashville. i was so angry with God, why would this happen when i have 48,326,294,534 things going on and don't have time to deal with a hurt ankle?

in the end, i do believe that everything happens according to God's plan and well, my hurt ankle was necessary in a way. it taught me that i need to learn how to get back up, how to recover, cope and move on. i have fallen and hurt my ankles SEVERAL times, ask anyone, but never have i had this hard of a time getting up. this may make no sense, but i think back to that moment right now and think about getting up from that fall and i tear up.

currently in the series we are going through at church, it's about what to do when our dreams are shattered, how to deal with the plan b... the woman in the video we watched today said, there is no plan b, everything that happens was supposed to happen, nothing is a surprise to God... and though that is hard to deal with at times, i have to hope that there is something bigger than me right now that is guiding me in life.

somehow, that day, i got up. it could have been an extra bolt of energy, maybe i got some help; but i did get up, i hobbled to my car and sat and cried. i drank some water, regained composure and hobbled into my meeting a few minutes late. i went to the doctor later that afternoon and had some x-rays done to make sure there wasn't any crazy damage, and it was just a sprain. i have a brace and am still not sprinting :) i do believe that its moments like that (physically and emotionally) where getting up is the last thing you want to do after falling, but its necessary, no one wants to remain stagnant, right?

at the end of church today, one of our pastors was talking about a gps system and how when he missed a turn, the system would say recalibrating and then recover; he said wouldn't it be great if our hearts and minds could take something like a missed turn in life and recalibrate so quickly? it would be awesome, but then again, missing a turn (though no on our path to wherever we were intending) could lead us down a prettier path...