reinventing your exit

"we all want to be somebody
right now were just looking for the exit
this is the way i would have done things
up against the wall
you've got me up against your wall
reaching out for a hand thats not here, but you are here and im not..." underoath

isn't it funny how we want life to fly by? always anxious and waiting and impatient, why can't we enjoy right now? i am so eager to get a job and "start my life" but my life started 21.5 years ago, i've been living, so what am i waiting to begin? yes i am living at home and yes i didn't want to come back here, but i was looking for something that wasn't supposed to be for me. i am so scared that if i am offered a job, once i take it something bigger and better will come. jimmy eat world says it best in "23" by saying, "you'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time." which is true.
i just finished watching another heart tugging episode of "extreme makeover: home edition" (i always watch that show and become inspired for a blog) but it was about this little girl who had cancer and when she was healing she began making bead necklaces to sell to earn money for cancer research. she wanted the makeover people to fix the hospital not her own house! i have lost a lot of selflessness and have become extremely selfish. everything is always about me. it can't be like that. if i want to pursue a career that ultimately helps people i can't be living the way i am. and that is why i don't have a job yet, i need to learn that. i needed to be humbled and kicked off of the high that i was on for some stupid reason.
i am but a person, i cannot determine every aspect of my life or 'reinvent my exit' but while i am cruising on the freeway on the way to my destination i must always remember to help those stranded on the side.