my leap of faith...

so is this when "real life" begins? i doubt that, i feel like i will forever feel like i can just push away the "real world" for a few years more :)
however, i am taking a huge step in my life and well i am going to explain it fully and in depth here and refer all future questions to this very blog.
today i quit my job, well i actually gave my notice a month ago but today was my last day, there really is no turning back now. in 3 weeks i will be leaving victorville heading down the i-15 north and then getting on the i-40 east and taking it straight to my new destination, nashville. why nashville you ask? well this is where i begin my story of me essentially climbing up a tree, standing on a platform and looking at my future...

way back when (like high school) i had little belief. i knew i was going to college, i knew i would graduate, potentially get a job, get married, etc.... but i didn't know why? yes, what 17 year old ponders the meaning of life, you'd be surprised how many actually do. i was at a cross roads, a few months away from entering pepperdine but didn't know where i was headed. during my senior year (while obessed with boy bands) i began to listen to a christian boy band which essentially gave me some sort of reason to listen to the christian radio station in victorville (which was commercial free, so that was another plus) but something happened and i stopped listening to the music and began listening to the words and yes, i began to believe in God.
i then proceeded to go to pepperdine, and my love for Him flourished and of course had its trying times where i lost almost all hope. but in the end i knew i had something constant in my life, you know? anyways, what does all this have to do with my move to nashville?
well, i am now going to bring you up to the present... i have since graduated from pepperdine but something happened while there. one of my old roommates took me to a video shoot for the beautiful mistake during my junior year and it's like a dying fire was reignited and i fell in love with music once again. but it almost became an obsession, at the same time, i was studying for a degree in international politics where i became almost obesessed with advocacy. one day i was browsing on the internet and saw a company that did both...
i then emailed and did everything i could to try to intern for them, and i did. from august to april of my senior year of college i interned for hopeless & sub city records where i learned that my two passions could collaborate! sadly, i had to leave them...
after i graduated from school, i was depressed, i will admit it now but wouldn't then. how could someone who loved God be depressed? it made me more depressed to think of that because i felt selfish. then things like the hurricanes and earthquakes and just horrendous events all over the world were occuring, but yet i would cry almost every day because i felt like i had no purpose anymore. i became sick and so stressed that it could not have been healthy. i was working at a law firm, that well was a negative environment for me to be in and that didn't help. the only thing truly keeping me sane (other than my awesome family) has been church. i've been working with the life teen (the high school kids) and it has been an amazing experience to not only see these kids and their love for God but also the people i work with and their passion to minister. it's been great.
so one day, while browsing the internet i thought, why not try to do something with christian music? i love music, but wanted my love for music to be turned into something that can effect people. so after hours of just looking around on the internet, the seed was planted. the christian music industry is centralized in nashville! why on earth would i move to nashville? i always joked around with people and was like yea, i want to move to tennessee. i never took it serious until a friend told me of someone who graduated from pepperdine who did what i only dreamt of doing but only a few years back. so i randomly emailed her and well, she has helped me a ton and even helped me get into the place i am renting... i began to finally realize that maybe this is my calling...
at the same time my boss decided to start his own practice so it created a break for me to exit without causing too much damage...

so here i am today, unemployed once again. a little amount saved up and a dream to move out to the south. i have never been to this city before, i know no one really and have no job offers. all i have is me and i know that won't suffice, so i know the next few months my faith will once again be tested, but whenever tested it comes out stronger.
and as i alluded to in the beginning of this post, i always like to refer back to a leadership weekend with sga at boojum where we embarked on a horrifying ropes course. one obstacle was to climb up like 50 feet in the air stand on a platform and jump off to try to reach a trapeeze just beyond my reach.
so here i am, standing on the platform, horrified to death but i know that i have to jump... whether or not i am able to grab hold of the swing, who knows, but i know i won't come to a crashing fall to hit the ground :)

so i am beginning my journey and hope to document it here, so be sure to check back :)