so selfish it's funny

looking out for number one, i'm all that i have and all that i see,
saved by the grace of the Son,
so shall we deny?
and rot as we die?
as i write a book about me,
my noble wealth of serving myself,
i am so selfish it's funny
-showbread

this song is amazing and reminds me a lot of one of my favorite books by cs lewis "till we have faces." the theme in my life this week is realizing how selfish i truly am. i was reading last night in the book of numbers and moses had already saved people from slavery by taking them from egypt under the guidance of God, but these people were so ungrateful! they would get angry with God because they didn't have meat or something, they would worship a golden cow when they felt like God had abandonded them. they were horribly impatient and wanted everything to be given to them by God. they were his choosen people so they felt they deserved they needed to be revered as opposed to them loving and respecting the God that saved them. i thought to myself, i am doing the exact same thing right now. as i had mentioned previously, God has been in the driver seat in my life for a little while now and well, i am sitting in the passenger seat whining and being impatient cause i feel that i can get us to the destination faster. when in all reality, God probably has the best directions... it's amazing though how many blessings i forget each day and how many stresses i focus on. the blessings HIGHLY outweigh the opposite.
so my goal for this week is to focus more on my blessings and less on the opposite. i will report back next tuesday to let you know how it goes...