yesterday was a fantastic day as i got baptized. and honestly, nothing can say it better than my testimony (which, by the way, my pastor said was hillarious...)
In high school my experience with the church ruined my perception of God and what faith was. I asked questions and they would either beat around the bush or not answer them at all. Having faith in something that I couldn’t see was beyond me at the time and when the people who could answer any questions I had about this faith would write me off as some kid who just wanted to cause problems, I ran the opposite direction and honestly never thought I would go back. Life without a relationship with Jesus, I thought was fine at the time, but looking back it was empty, all my decisions for the future were based on worldly things (how to become successful, be accepted by my peers, etc.). But there were times when I truly felt alone and really didn’t understand where I was going with my life.
Towards the end of high school, I was still just doing the normal thing, focused on where I wanted to go to college along with all the other high school issues any teen worries about. I was very big into music then and absolutely loved anything pop (yes, it’s hard to admit), I loved all boy bands, etc. I began listening to Plus One and didn’t realize they were a Christian band until I had visited their website. Initially I thought that it was strange that Christian music even existed, but continued to listen to them. At the same time a Christian radio station began in my town, they played Plus One and there really was nothing else to listen to so I listened occasionally. Much to my surprise some Christian music was actually good :). As time progressed, there came a point where I didn’t just listen to the music but actually listened to the words and messages that were on the station. This all was very new to me; I got curious and began going back to church at the end of my senior year in high school.
A few months later I started my freshman year in college at Pepperdine. I was placed in a dorm suite with a handful of amazing Christian girls and surrounded by a great Christian community. The girls I lived with were patient and willing to answer any and all questions I had about spirituality and made me even more curious about Jesus and God. I reached out to the leadership at the surrounding churches to get information on why certain traditions were in place and just to ask questions. After a semester or so at Pepperdine I had learned that I could have a personal relationship with my creator, this amazed me beyond anything because I grew up going to a church that did not teach me that my God could be tangible. I accepted Jesus into my life and it was so freeing to have Him in my life and to know that I am loved unconditionally. Grace took me so long to understand, the whole notion of something being unconditional was beyond my comprehension, but little by little God would show how His grace worked through the little things in my life and he still reminds me today that His grace is all I will ever need.
My life hasn’t been the same since I accepted Jesus into my life. I actually wouldn’t be here in Nashville today had I not. I drove across the country (never having been to Tennessee & having no job) to move to Nashville by myself solely on faith. Because of how I became a Christian, I really felt God lead me to give back and work in Christian music, which is why I am here now. Looking back on that specific time in my life I am AMAZED at how God calmed my mind and constantly assured me that this is what He wanted me to do. He completely paved the road for me and even drove the car, because I don’t know if I could do what I did then, now. Becoming a Christian gave me confidence that I am never alone and even when I feel lonely, I can always rely on God to be there for me and to love me even though I am human and mess up. I have been through my ups and downs and my faith has been tested, God is truly faithful and has carried me and led to where I am today.
last night after all the commotion died down and i sat and flipped through my bible, it really hit me what had happened and i was just blown away. God's grace is so cool and beyond comprehension, so i will leave you with this... "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2 corinthians 12:9
