somethings just aren't important after thinking about it...

even a few minutes not spent in prayer or contemplation of God became an invitation for satan to stab me with his double-edged knife of doubt and self-pity. prayer became my armor, and i wrapped it tightly around my heart.
left to tell by immaculee ilibagiza

i am presently reading a book called "left to tell" by a woman who lived through the rwandan genocide and was able to live because she hid in her pastor's bathroom for 3 months. she stayed calm because of her faith and satan did what he could to attack her, but she knew she needed to stay strong in this battle and it just moved me to read this...

it is complete :)

yes, today i finished my 4th piece in my series of paintings :)



now here are all 4 together:



how exciting! i don't know why i decided on a tree, but i really just felt that it would be a great addition to the others.

woo hoo!!!

jcpenney owns me

it's 10:30 am and i am on my lunch break, yes that is right, my lunch break. after closing last night and leaving the store a little after 9pm i had the luxury of going in at 5:45 am this morning for inventory... therefore, causing my lunch to be at 10am :)

i am tired and want to stay here, but get to go back to a huge pile of clothing with no upc to scan... joy


P.S. I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW TOMORROW, PRAYER IS APPRECIATED :)

he doesn't even need a labelmaker

a couple weeks ago my roommate and i went to an art exhibit called "100 artists view god." one of the views of god was "god as a great organizer" and there was a picture of amoeba music (possibly my most favorite place in the world!) and it shows just the amazing organization that went into the store. there are thousands of cds everywhere, split amongst used, new, vinyl and dvds. it had to take a genius to figure this place out and to think God does it on a level much greater, with our lives.
in talking to my old roommate last night i can't help but be beyond thankful for her being in my life, she really is one of my heroes. how does one from victorville, california and another from clifton, new jersey meet up in malibu, california to become great friends? only God can put that together, i am convinced! same goes with all the amazing people in my life, they are all in it for a reason. the world is a small place, as is the wherehouse of cds on sunset boulevard in hollywood, and it takes one master person in charge to organize it all, they know what is best and seriously, it's amazing how that store is organized and it's even more amazing how my life is organized.

when life becomes cliche

looking out my window into the sky upon some unfamiliar land i saw a strange aircraft drop this red object and it hit the ground and created a mushroom cloud only identifiable with that of a nuclear bomb. i freaked out, for i knew that if the bomb didn't kill me immediately i would have but a couple days to live because of the radiation... i ran about frantically not knowing how i wanted to spend the last days of my life.

this was the dream i had last night... more like a nightmare. i woke up not knowing where i was at and if what i had just envisioned was real or not. i can tell you one thing, i was freaked out. would i do the same thing if given but a couple days to live?
do you ever feel like life has become nothing but a cliche? i have recently read through the ecclesiastes and solomon talked about how everything is just meaningless. i don't know if i would ever want to be as wise as how God made solomon, i feel like it would be a curse just as much as it is a blessing. truthfully in the end, it's not going to matter where i went to college, what i look like, what i own or anything. Jesus isn't going to talk to me about the car i had or my family, but how i brought people to Him and how i treated my brothers and sisters. so what am i in pursuit of? is it all in vain? if given three days to live would i really go around and minister? or would i want to go to a foreign land or see people who i love? would i indulge myself or would i serve?
there is a quote, by james dean, i believe that says, "dream as you'll live forever. live as you'll die today." nice thought. we take these cliches and quotes and post them on bookmarks, on posters, all over our lives to remind us of what? it's not like i am paying attention.
i have a quote on a tile on my window that says "unsatisfied desire is in itself more desireable than any other satisfaction" by cs lewis. i think we live insatiably partially because of the fall, we will always have some sort of void we need to fill, but also because as nelson mandela says, "our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."
what in my life has meaning? what am i doing that isn't self-indulgent or selfish? i'd like to think that i am doing a handful of things, but am i really?
i don't mean t be negtive, rather self-reflective. i am content with where i am at, i am moving at my own pace and learning that i cannot change the world in a day but i also am questioning the direction i am heading. i am at a large fork in the road right now and in the future would hope that both roads will be connected someday but it is somewhat unlikely. i am growing up and becoming responsible for things and its frightening because i have to take fault for the mistakes that i make.

through being cool

last night i got to check something off of my life list: see saves the day. i know what you're thinking, what is on my list? i'll get to that another day. but saves the day is a band that i started listening to when i got out of my boy band phase :) i've seen new found glory, something corporate and thursday. the only one left now is the ataris!
but back to last night. i was sad that there weren't more people there, these guys have been around for a while, but their last album was a while ago, so i guess i can see why.
the night started out with a band called down to earth approach and i have the cd but never really listened to it... now i am going to :) they were really good and fun but the crowd was non-responsive!
anyways, the second band was moneen, and i was very impressed as well. their cd came out yesterday and i got it! :)
third was circa survive and well, i am just not fan of his voice, i can't do it. but i think a majority of people were there to see them so after their set ended the crowd got a little smaller :(
anyways, saves the day played songs from my favorite album "through being cool" and some from their other 3 or 4 albums and it was just fun. they are amazing and i am sooo glad that i got to check that off my list :)

cinco

was tagged by aj fabulous on this one :)

Top 5 "Must Haves" for the moment

In my fridge:
1. black beans and brown rice
2. sour cream
3. pizza
4. baby spinach
5. coke zero


In my closet:
1. cardigan (yes, i am an old lady deep down)
2. my plethora of band shirts
3. jeans
4. polka-dotted vans
5. pj bottoms


In my purse:
1. cell phone
2. calendar
3. wallet
4. book (currently good news about injustice)
5. vanilla lip balm


In my car:
1. ipod/cds
2. scarf
3. hat
4. febreeze
5. map of nashville


On my TiVo (if you dont have it make believe...)
1. extreme makeover: home edition
2. injustice
3. extreme makeover: home edition
4. american idol
5. extreme makeover: home edition

my plan is stupid

i tell myself this everyday in one form or another but can never grasp it. it's been an underlying theme in my life recently and for weeks now i have had something tugging at my heart but it's like looking at a person from a distance where they are blurry enough to where you can't make them out but not so blurry to where you have an idea that you may recognize them...
i have been praying for God to reveal what this feeling is to me. i thought moving out here would be the final thing for God to tell me what to do with my life, but of course it wasn't... it's so much more than my move. anyways, the past couple weeks can only be described by throwing every emotion into a blender and hitting HIGH POWER on the thing.
anyways, some exciting things are happening that i want to write about but i am exhausted so i will do so in my next couple posts :)

could i send Jesus an instant message?

today while freezing outside of starbucks (i wanted quiet and it's just not quiet inside...) reading the bible i was going through some chapters in the gospel of john and one of his disciples asked (i believe it was thomas) why Jesus didn't reveal himself to the entire world, why just the disciples? this got me to thinking. why didn't God send Jesus to us later on? after all the technological revolutions that we've had we could stream Jesus in realtime via the internet. what i mean is had Jesus been brought to save man closer to present day, then maybe there would be more people who believe. then again, if some man came up to me and said that he was the choosen one i would think he has a mental illness and brush him off. but i can't help but imagine, Jesus would be able to reach billions of people instantly... i wonder why God chose that time period to send his son?